Eliminate Emotion In The Moment Technique
This process is based on a simple distinction: there are the observable facts of an event, and then there is the meaning your mind gives to those facts.
Observable facts are what a camera could record and replay on a movie screen.
Meaning cannot be found in the movie. If ten people watched the exact same scene, they could each give it a different interpretation. This shows that the meaning was never in the event - it was created by the observer.
It is the meaning you give an event that creates your emotional response. For example, if you lose your job, you could give it the meaning, "I'm a failure," and feel defeated and hopeless. Or you could give it the meaning, "This wasn't the right fit. Maybe this is an opportunity to move towards the kind of work I really want," and feel hopeful and motivated. The event is the same - only the meaning has changed.
When you recognise that your interpretation is just one possible meaning, rather than something inherent in the event itself, the emotional charge often dissolves.
What You Can Do Right Now
When you get triggered or upset, here's a process you can use in the moment.
Step 1. Identify the observable facts of what happened:"Someone walked into the room and didn't say hello to me.”
Step 2. Ask what meaning you gave it: "They don't like me" or "I must have done something wrong."
Step 3. Explore alternatives: If five other people watched this event unfold, what different meanings might they give it? Maybe they're preoccupied. Maybe they didn't see you. Maybe they're dealing with something difficult. Maybe they're simply lost in thought.
Step 4. Get to no meaning: What does this event inherently mean? Can I actually find that meaning in the event itself, or is it something my mind has added?
The answer is always: I know nothing for sure. Meaning isn't in the event - it's something the mind creates.
Why This Process Works
When it comes down to it, all meaning is generated in the mind - and therefore much of our emotional suffering is too. The more you free yourself from the meanings you automatically assign to events, the less you tend to suffer and the more psychological freedom you experience.
The key to this process isn't to replace one meaning with a better one. It's simply to generate enough different possible meanings that you realise none of them are inherent in the event. We can never know for certain what an event means. That's where the freedom lies.
This simple process can often dissolve or significantly reduce an emotion in the moment. It won't necessarily eliminate the underlying beliefs that cause you to assign those meanings - that's what I help people do in hypnotherapy sessions - but it can provide immediate freedom from emotional reactivity. Pick something that reliably triggers you and practise this process at least once a day for two weeks. You'll likely notice yourself becoming less reactive and more at ease in those situations.
Want Support?
Lucas Lindblom is a clinical hypnotherapist with a background in psychology, based in Thornbury, Melbourne. Sessions are available both in person and online. To book, follow the links below.
